Not the worst problem to have

I need a new laptop, but am in Bolivia (so, Spanish keyboards with their baffling aversion to the `@´symbol) and few computer outlets. Ideas anyone?

The Drowning part two

A few eagle eyed readers have pointed out a discrepancy in the story ´The Drowning´. There is a description of the vehicle being towed from the water with all the tourists aboard, yet a photo in the middle of the book shows the poor sods who were saddled with me as a guide wet from the chest down.

That´s because I did it more than once.

Yes, despite fearing for my job, within a month another vehicle was gurgling its way to the bottom of the Okavango Delta, and I began the second of what became known as The Okavango Biathlon (involving a swim and run).

If my much maligned laptop* hadn´t recently, finally died I would upload a pic of that day taken by my friend Iva Spitzer, but sadly it is lurking inside the hunk of metal and plastic that I wrote Don´t Look Behind You on.

As a sidenote, there is one other story in WYDDR that is an amalgamation. The Conversation was one of the more uncomfortable experiences I ever had, and after it happened more than once I stopped making the joke about forensics and getting away with murder.

*Usually I prefer to remain positive about places, péople and products, but from the day I bought my Acer Aspire I aspired to throw it out, but resented the cost in doping so - an internal part broke within a week, but I was told it must have been my fault so warranty wouldn´t cover it. It was underpowered for its operating system (and while all those ´Hi! I´m a Mac´ ads were great, surely there was no better advertisement for Apple than Vista), and constantly blacked out when I made it exert itself. Such as if I ran two programs at once, or tried to listen to music while writing and asking a question of the omniscient internet. So, next laptop, I´ll splurge and come to the light. What Mac should I buy?

Dubious heritage.

Despite an above average knowledge of animals I still can´t determine what species my parents were.

Notably quotable.

Have you ever heard a quote that changed the way you thought about something - maybe even how you go about your life?

I love the quotes of Mark Twain, George Bernard Shaw, Oscar Wilde and several other of the usual suspects, but a philosophy of mine was altered by that crusty old bulldog, Winston Churchill.

Until many years ago I prided myself on making peace with people, and trying my best to get on with anyone. Then I read "I never trust a man without enemies. It means he has never stood up for anything."

Now, I try to piss off as many people as I can, all in the interest of conservation. This might get dangerous when I step into Brazil tomorrow...

Corporate Strategy

Microsoft, with all their billions, still insist on releasing half completed products onto the market, watching them crash, and only then fixing them.

As a regular traveler, my fear is that Boeing will try the same.

I think I need to get back to that puma...

You know you are getting overweight when you get puffed just thinking of something strenuous. Like chewing.

Globalisation

Today I watched some boys trying skateboard tricks in a park. This was in Santa Cruz de la Sierra, Bolivia, but they could have been anywhere in the world that I have visited or lived in that they made me ask the question "Why bother?" I don't think I have ever seen a skateboarder try a trick that didn't end with them falling off and scooting away to either hit an innocent passerby in the shin or, if fate is kind, get crushed by a car (the board I'm talking about at the end here, not the rider, just to make it clear). At best, even if they could stay on, the best result a skater will get is one over large leg.

Time to give it up boys, maybe get a bike. They're much harder to hit with a car...

High!

I have just travelled through the Atacama desert into the Andean town of Uyuni in Bolivia - altitude sickness is about as pleasant as dog flatulence bur everything else here is spectacular. Over the next week I will make my way through the towns of Potosi, Sucre and Santa Cruz before getting into the jungle and carrying on my search to see a wild a jaguar.