It's not about soccer

There is quite a hullabaloo going on at the moment, regarding this game thingie that is going on in South Africa. I don’t get it. As far as I can tell, the aim is to run backwards and forwards a bit, then somebody falls over. Whoever falls over best gets a chance to score a goal. Whichever team falls over best most often wins.
I get drunk and fall over quite effectively, and do it with some regularity, but unlike Brazilians with bad teeth or Englishmen with penchants for withered hookers nobody gives me millions for it. Nor would I ever deem falling over a sport, but some people insist that soccer is one.
I’m aware that billions of people like the game, but Nickelback sells millions, George W Bush got a second term and creationalists control some school boards, so clearly majorities are not to be trusted. The only advantage to the popularity of soccer is how many people it will draw to South Africa. So many things could go wrong with this sort of influx to a country whose government seems woefully inadequate to handle such an event, but Africa and Africans have a knack for pulling things off. I for one hope that mainly positive stories come from the world cup. If just some of the crowd decide to visit Africa’s most famous other attraction, the wilderness, and some fall in love with it, then maybe, just maybe I can become a fan too.